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Lost in Translation

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For the last couple years (with a pandemic pause) I was able to take my minions back to Taiwan. My main goal is to make them long for their Taiwanese/Chinese heritage. To feel rooted in a place that is so far removed from our everyday physical space.  This summer we attended a family camp run by indigenous Tsou people of Taiwan. I heard the word 感動 which translate directly to sensing movement but it is used to express this idea of being moved. But it's so much more than that... One of the young people running the camp spoke about his experience at 18 coming back to his ancestral land to learn the culture and language. If you don't know much about Taiwan indigenous history it parallels with the eradication through cultural genocide in the US native history.  But in the 2016 then President Tsai made a formal apology to the indigenous tribes of Taiwan. She did more than apologies, (https://china.usc.edu/tsai-ing-wen-apology-indigenous-peoples%E2%80%9D-august-1-2016) she put ...
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Phone addiction

 There is a lot of talk about phone addiction with teens. I wonder what the research is saying about aging (Gen X) and phones. It completely feeds into my procrastination tendencies. I can't even remember what I use to do when I commit to not doing something. I watched alot of non cable TV? I stared out a window. I've gotten into the habit of deleting and putting on the apps over and over again.  Should I self diagnose? Is this ADHD ? I have been reading and watching documentaries specific to anxiety in teens. As a family we decide we were going to limit and restrict. But I know I do a terrible job modeling. Shockingly our two minions haven't really mentioned it or maybe they did but we were not  paying attention with our nose stuck in our phones.  I have no memory of my parents being present for me when I was growing. Were they just doing a bunch of chores, like what did they do with their time? 
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Why Mama HuHu

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Thanks to my daughter, it's taken me 10 years to finally let go of my shame about speaking another language in American spaces. And when I say American, I really mean American in the sen se of m ěi guó rén how my mom and my aunties speak about English only spaces...White spaces.  When she was born I leapt into shoring my house to be Chinese print rich, books, posters, created signage. I can feel my unused Mandarin tongue come back to life.  Full of enthusiasm...but you know life. I am still functioning at about 3rd grade, after four summers back to Taiwan, my American accent has lighten and non Taiwanese Mandarin native speakers can hear my Taiwanese accent. I own that. I am proud of that work.  I turned 48 years old last week and I fully embrace the Chinese idiom : mama huhu.  PS I know I actually didn't explain the idiom but you can easily look it up and there is a great NY Times article about it  by Vanessa Hua   https://x.com/vanessa_hua/status/152...
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Day 3 of a Pretend Stay at Home Mom

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 I am sitting here day 3 of my great congestion and pink eye rest at home. I find it amusing and disappointing that the lesson I get from a break from work is that I am not built for work. I honestly wished I learned this lesson when I was 22 and fresh out of college. I would of made some different decisions on how I would spend my money so I can work part time at the cusp of my 50s.  Fucking 50...it sound ludicrous to even type this in . How is it possible that everything peaks my interest and nothing at the same time.  In my three days of sick rest day: I cleaned my yard, meal prepped, planned vacations and tidy the house. I even watched hours of kdrama. I am sitting outside in my yard enjoying the sunshine but just enough for my feet because i don't dare to add anymore UV rays onto my face. Geez..it all feels so shallow and so lovely at the same time. 
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