Horse Horse Tiger Tiger mamahuhu

Thanks to my daughter, it's taken me 10 years to finally let go of my shame about speaking another language in American spaces. And when I say American, I really mean American in the sen se of m ěi guó rén how my mom and my aunties speak about English only spaces...White spaces.  When she was born I leapt into shoring my house to be Chinese print rich, books, posters, created signage. I can feel my unused Mandarin tongue come back to life.  Full of enthusiasm...but you know life. I am still functioning at about 3rd grade, after four summers back to Taiwan, my American accent has lighten and non Taiwanese Mandarin native speakers can hear my Taiwanese accent. I own that. I am proud of that work.  I turned 48 years old last week and I fully embrace the Chinese idiom : mama huhu.  PS I know I actually didn't explain the idiom but you can easily look it up and there is a great NY Times article about it  by Vanessa Hua   https://x.com/vanessa_hua/status/152...

 I am sitting here day 3 of my great congestion and pink eye rest at home. I find it amusing and disappointing that the lesson I get from a break from work is that I am not built for work. I honestly wished I learned this lesson when I was 22 and fresh out of college. I would of made some different decisions on how I would spend my money so I can work part time at the cusp of my 50s.  Fucking 50...it sound ludicrous to even type this in . How is it possible that everything peaks my interest and nothing at the same time.  In my three days of sick rest day: I cleaned my yard, meal prepped, planned vacations and tidy the house. I even watched hours of kdrama. I am sitting outside in my yard enjoying the sunshine but just enough for my feet because i don't dare to add anymore UV rays onto my face. Geez..it all feels so shallow and so lovely at the same time.